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Modern-Day Mulan! Turns Out That Old, Sick Orangutan In The Garage Is A Lady Orangutan

We all know the story of Mulan, the badass Chinese heroine who disguises herself as a man to fight for her country. But if you thought her story was a thing of the past, think again, because someone got a good look at that old, sick orangutan holed up in the garage, and guess what: Turns out, it’s a lady orangutan!

Wow. Talk about a Disney-worthy reveal!

When the decrepit, grime-crusted orangutan first wheezed its way through the garage’s open window in a shower of grayed fur and skin flakes, everyone thought it was a male ape. After all, it did drag together a sad little nest of tarp and weatherproofing strips, cough up thick gray discharge onto the dusty floor, and use a tire iron to knock down that old paper wasp nest in a futile search for food. But just as Li Shang assumed Mulan was a man because of her fighting skills, everyone was shocked when, in attempting to fend off garage intruders with a pale thrown turd, the orangutan stayed still long enough to finally reveal its gnarled, dangling teats.

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@skidji